Our time in Tupiza was pretty much on par with having someone shit on our face and just so there is no confusion, we are not into that.  We pulled into town at four in the morning after an overnight train. The taxi charged us three times the fair price to go two fucking blocks and gave a local a ride with us for free. No worries, I had been wanting to get into charity work I was just waiting for the right opportunity to present itself.

Our hotels night shift guy greeted us kindly enough and said our room was ready if we wanted to crash out.  Considering we just got off an overnight train that saw its prime in the 1920´s and didn´t get much sleep, we were greatly appreciative.  We took a nap and woke up refreshed.  As we walked past the manager the next morning she introduced herself and asked our names with a smile.  After we told her who we were she mentioned our check out date.  “Oh I think there is a mistake, we wanted three nights”. “Yes, but you booked three nights.  Last night and two more nights”

What the fuck!?  This bitch wanted to charge us a full night for two hours!

We contested the full night rate and stated this should have been explained to us prior to our check in.  She instantly dropped the full night charge (120 Bolivianos) to 35.  This resolved the argument and we went to our room.  We expressed our frustration with the situation to each other but both agreed that the $4 was well worth the nap.  On our way out later in the day she stopped us and stated “Let me be clear (evil eyed) it is 35 per person”. I had a brief vision of running across the room and slamming her face on her desk.  What can we do?  The room is actually pretty nice, its cheap compared to the other hostels in town, and even if we left right then we would still have to pay her.  As much as I hated it we had to give her our money.

The next day Sally tried to earn her Tupiza Rodeo belt buckle and after our trip to the hospital we decided we should push back our departure date for the Salt flats.  When we told the manager we would like an extra day she paused “Yes, hmmmm.  That room might not be available.  You might have to change rooms.  I will let you know in the morning.”  Two people, two fucking people.  That is the number of other guests we had seen the two days we had been there.  They leave the unoccupied rooms door open and virtually every door was open to include the one across the hall that was the exact same as our room.  It was perfect.  Nothing is more enjoyable than being ripped off, nearly having your wife decapitated by a tree and falling off her horse, then getting fucked with by some scandalous bitch who is pissed you didn´t just take it up the ass and pay a full nights price for your two-hour nap.

We couldn´t be happier to get the hell out of Tupiza!

Originally we were debating between two tour companies.  Tupiza Tours and the one that was run out of our hostel.  Needless to say our hostel made the decision for us when they tried to squeeze as much money out of us as possible for the room.  We swung by the tour office the night before when we made the last-minute decision to rent sleeping bags (best idea of the trip so far!).  When we got there I heard a familiar voice as the tour lady introduced us to one of our tour partners.

(flashback) La Paz: We poured out of the cholitas wrestling and made our way onto the bus back to our hotel.  A middle-aged man with an eye twitching whinny voice sat behind us a proceeded to talk none stop for the entire 45 minute ride.  Sally and I both exited the bus with the same annoyance level.

It must have been the high altitude but again I envisioned myself diving across the desk, wrapping both hands around his neck and strangling the man.  Hoping to God that if I wasn´t thrown in jail and didn´t manage to kill him that at least I would injure his voice box in some capacity.  No such luck, my dumbfounded state overtook my body and I was unable to do anything but manage a fake smile.  The icing on the Tupiza cake. . .

A little bit of a spoiler alert.  Yes, he did manage to cause all of the passengers ears to bleed.  He actually came in and out of sleep during the first day of driving (8 hours) trying to ensure that not a single conversation took place with out his participation.

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